Survive
by Code name Anrui Yuy
Summary: As he attempts to shoot down the falling chunk of Libra, Heero decides he wants to survive. 1/R


Even through all the layers of gundamium and machinery Heero could feel the heat of the atmosphere flooding the cockpit, making every inch of his skin itch and boil as sweat rolled down his trembling arms. The weight of trying to keep the buster rifle steady made his arms feel like they were burning from the inside as well. Although he had turned off the emergency repair systems, he could feel Zero wailing as it was slowly being ripped apart by the heat and pressure, the metal shell protecting him was dissolving away like paper in boiling water. He had no hope of live through this. Even if he got the shot fired off before he completely burned up, he wouldn't have time to convert Zero back into flight form, if those systems would even work still. If he could've spared the energy, he would've smirked at the irony. He was going to die saving the Earth, the place he had been sent to wreak havoc on. He was going to die fulfilling his promise to Relena, the girl who he had originally vowed to kill.

"_You're planning to die aren't you Heero?"_

Her face came unbidden into his mind, the moment she had declared that she wouldn't let him go, her eyes flashing and face set with determination with an underlying desperate fear. She had been so afraid, so reluctant to let him go. Her accusing words rang through his ears, and he grunted in pain, fighting down the guilt with the desperate need to concentrate.

"_I do believe in you, yes I do."_

But she hadn't been afraid in, in those small moments, something in her changed. What? Why wasn't she afraid anymore?

"_I do believe in you."_

Then, he understood.

_You're expecting me to come back, aren't you? You think I can do this without dying. You believe in me that much. Forgive me Relena…I asked you to believe in me and I had no right to. I'm going to protect you now, but fail to return to you like I know you expect me to…Please forgive me…_

He willed his body to grip the controls tighter, to make his arms steadier, the targeting system was still oscillating wildly around the fragment of Libra, making it impossible to lock on to. The heat was increasing steadily, the light material of the flight suit as thick and suffocating as heavy wool.

_Forgive me Relena, I had no right to ask you to believe in me… but I'm going to protect you, Relena…_

Even more systems began to short circuit until bare electricity lanced through the cockpit, crackling and shocking Heero. He was going to die. And for the first time in his life, Heero Yuy was not okay with that.

…_You expect me to return to you…_

"I will-!"

The desperate assertion came unbidden from his throat. All thoughts were slowly deteriorating from Heero's mind as Zero was getting closer to locking onto Libra, it was a matter of seconds now…could he survive a few more seconds?

…_Please forgive me Relena…You think I can do this without dying...Forgive me…_

"I will."

Closer now, it was so oh so close to locking on. His arms, his whole body felt like empty tanks, like he was drawing strength from nowhere. The air was getting thinner and hotter every second that he waited, and his thoughts deteriorated even faster. His entire being becoming entirely focused on waiting for the first possible instant to fire.

…_Relena…Relena…Relena…_

"I will!"

The words came out choked and tight now, his face contorted in concentration, blocking out all thoughts of his decaying life-support systems with the increasingly rapid repeating chant _…Relena…Relena… .RelenaRelenaRelenaRelena!_

"I will survive!"

The affirmation of his life left his lips the same instant the flash of green light changed to red, signaling that Zero had locked on. Despite the fatigue, the lack of oxygen, the injuries, his fingers squeezed the triggers a fraction of a second later, and in the small moment he waited for the shot to actually go off her warm voice echoed through his mind

…_Heero…_

When the energy from the twin buster rifle actually hit Libra, Heero found himself engulfed in a flash of blinding light. His mind was so frayed that later he wasn't sure if he himself had initiated Zero's conversion back to flight form or if the damaged gundam had done it itself. Regardless, when he came back to himself, he was flying out of the burning remains, and a strange sense of peace rolled over his body. Heero had never been a person to speak much, but at that moment he felt that he had to say something, even though he knew it would mean nothing and no one could hear him. After a moment, a small smile crossed his face and he opened his eyes, looking back up into space. He imagined he was looking right back at his fellow pilots, to the crew of Peacemillion, to the remaining forces of Earth, to Relena.

"Mission, complete."


End file.
